Let's say you're going through your spouse's phone messages ... because, ya know, some folks do that ... and lo and behold, you find pics of your spouse in some very compromising positions with someone else. Would you a) confront your spouse; b) demand you and your spouse go to therapy; c) kick your spouse out; d) forgive and forget; orrrrr e) forward the pictures to everyone at your spouse's lover's place of employment. Well, if you're Paul Costello, a well-known photographer, you apparently do "e." Costello discovered the photos on his wife Sara's phone and realized she'd been having an affair with a guy named Luke Janklow, who happens to be one of the biggest literary agents in the world.
Paul must have had the contact information for Luke's entire agency, because reportedly he sent off the racy "sext" messages to everyone who worked there -- including Luke's father, a big agent named Mort. And reportedly two of his colleagues were so upset they quit their jobs and went elsewhere. (Highly unlikely, but okay ... )
So the question here is, do you ever have a right to mess with the job of the person who is messing with your spouse? I say no. First off, I've been in this guy's position. I understand the anger. But what good comes from emailing info about your spouse's cheating to the lover's office? Other than making YOU look foolish?
Duped spouses do a lot of things in the heat of anger and humiliation and THAT I totally understand. You throw clothes on the lawn. You slash tires. You call the other man/woman. Yeah, I get it. But you draw the line at trying to ruin that person's professional reputation. An affair is between you and your spouse. And maybe the other person and that person's spouse, if you're so inclined.
But it's NOT about you and your spouse and the other person's boss and colleagues. Seriously, no one cares that their colleague is having an affair anyway. Maybe they gossip about it, but everyone is going to continue about their job. Because no one wants to lose theirs.
The weird thing is, after all of that, Paul and Sara are still married; Sara's former lover, Luke, is now dating someone else. So ... a lot of brouhaha for nothing.